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Victorian Holiday
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Characters
Michael Martin, the Host. Cheerful English professor, originally from Germany, who invites all his friends to his house in the Philadelphia area to celebrate the festive season at his house, the annual Victorian Holiday, where every guest performs or shares something.
Guest 1: Shmuel. Delightful scientist, mid-40’s, looks nerdy, forever looking for a wife.
Guest 2: Geremea. Dedicated, earnest, young writer with suicide tendencies.
Guest 3: Mary. A single African American mother and dance teacher who lost track of Joseph, but named her daughter Christmas, all the same, even though the child was born in July.
Guest 4: Stranger. Guest that nobody knows but who says he’s a friend of John
Guest 5: Ali Joseph (Ajo). Eight year old son of Reza, a colleague from Iran, and his wife Gabriela from Guatemala.
Guest 6: Rachel. Conservative older Jewish woman, always wearing a yarmulke.
Guest 7: Jonathan. A middle-aged scientist.
Guest 8: Ingrid. Classical violinist and fiddler who can play practically anything.
Guest 9: Ruth. Survived the occupation of France in a convent, author of Your Name is Renée.
Voices with various accents: Many guests with various talents and backgrounds.
Guest 1: Shmuel. Delightful scientist, mid-40’s, looks nerdy, forever looking for a wife.
Guest 2: Geremea. Dedicated, earnest, young writer with suicide tendencies.
Guest 3: Mary. A single African American mother and dance teacher who lost track of Joseph, but named her daughter Christmas, all the same, even though the child was born in July.
Guest 4: Stranger. Guest that nobody knows but who says he’s a friend of John
Guest 5: Ali Joseph (Ajo). Eight year old son of Reza, a colleague from Iran, and his wife Gabriela from Guatemala.
Guest 6: Rachel. Conservative older Jewish woman, always wearing a yarmulke.
Guest 7: Jonathan. A middle-aged scientist.
Guest 8: Ingrid. Classical violinist and fiddler who can play practically anything.
Guest 9: Ruth. Survived the occupation of France in a convent, author of Your Name is Renée.
Voices with various accents: Many guests with various talents and backgrounds.
Excerpt
ACT II, SCENE 1
(Classical Christmas music in the background. Splashing of water. The bell rings. Noise of a shower being abruptly turned off. Bell rings again. The host arrives wearing a towel, totally inappropriate for the occasion, greeting the guests. Some women, all in long dresses, some wearing expensive fur coats; some of the men in nerdy outfits, trying, unsuccessfully, to look elegant for the party.)
MARTIN: Welcome. Forgive the outfit, I’m still dripping. Just put your coats on the back porch and put your food in the kitchen and your wrapped gift in the Secret Santa gift basket for the end of the evening. I’ve been working until now, so—it would be wonderful if you could decorate the Christmas tree for me. You have half-an-hour before the party starts at 7 o’clock, so take your time. Drinks are in the sun room. Help yourself. Three cheers and happy holidays! I now need to get dressed.
(He leaves. The guests, embarrassed that they arrived a half-hour too early, somewhat annoyed that the host wasn’t ready; yet, wanting to be cheerful for the occasion, they take off their fur coats and bags, leaving for the back porch to drop off their coats. Others pour themselves a drink and start opening the boxes with the Christmas decorations. When the women return, they stand around, arguing how best to decorate the tree, with everyone having different ideas, none of which work. And so the anal-retentive Christmas tree begins to take shape.)
(Classical Christmas music in the background. Splashing of water. The bell rings. Noise of a shower being abruptly turned off. Bell rings again. The host arrives wearing a towel, totally inappropriate for the occasion, greeting the guests. Some women, all in long dresses, some wearing expensive fur coats; some of the men in nerdy outfits, trying, unsuccessfully, to look elegant for the party.)
MARTIN: Welcome. Forgive the outfit, I’m still dripping. Just put your coats on the back porch and put your food in the kitchen and your wrapped gift in the Secret Santa gift basket for the end of the evening. I’ve been working until now, so—it would be wonderful if you could decorate the Christmas tree for me. You have half-an-hour before the party starts at 7 o’clock, so take your time. Drinks are in the sun room. Help yourself. Three cheers and happy holidays! I now need to get dressed.
(He leaves. The guests, embarrassed that they arrived a half-hour too early, somewhat annoyed that the host wasn’t ready; yet, wanting to be cheerful for the occasion, they take off their fur coats and bags, leaving for the back porch to drop off their coats. Others pour themselves a drink and start opening the boxes with the Christmas decorations. When the women return, they stand around, arguing how best to decorate the tree, with everyone having different ideas, none of which work. And so the anal-retentive Christmas tree begins to take shape.)
