For Rebecca Cureton
I am deeply disturbed that you chose numerous Mondays to drop tons of your white stuff all over the area, always on Mondays, when my friend Becca drives to my house. As a result, we fell behind in our work on articles, letters, plays, and, above all, my new website, Drama Around the Globe.
May I, with all due respect, ask you to stop those deliberate acts of sabotage and, instead, spare us those heavy, wet and white confetti parades from above, covering the ground by one foot all over the area on Sundays, Mondays and Thursdays? Why not mess up the world on Tuesdays, or Fridays, even Saturdays? Those are the days dear Becca doesn’t drive to my house.
Sir, please have mercy on this writer, her young soul, and her old car. If avalanching you must, drop off your wet crystal anger all over Alaska or, better still, all over the North Pole, because Becca, who does Windows, doesn't do Alaska, and she is determined to stay away from the North Pole, at least for now. In short, sparing us down here while dumping tons of white crystals across Alaska and the North Pole would be a true, true win-win situation.
Sincerely and gratefully,
Dr. Henrik Eger,
still recovering from digging myself out of the snow
According to popular belief, St. Peter is considered to be in charge of both the weather and deciding who would enter Heaven and who is sent to Hell upon the arrival of the souls of the dead. Traditionally, in Europe "prayers petitioned Saint Peter to grant rain in time of drought."